I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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