I need to stop coming to work sober
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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