trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize