i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
