Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
