My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
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Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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