I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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