when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
