I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
