Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I need to calm my uterus...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
