OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
