Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
