We won't sleep together?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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