i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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