im gay
i know
yea but for you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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