How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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