You're my little dorito
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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