Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
