sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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