Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
