help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
