careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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