I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
