If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
