Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize