My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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