During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
