Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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