I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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