ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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