i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
