you guys were way drunker than both of me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
