How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
