I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
