He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
