Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Someone shattered a urinal.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can I color on your dick again?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
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I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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