I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
