i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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