Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
