you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
