I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
