Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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