note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
