She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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