4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
