she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
