I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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