I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Please don't give away my fajitas
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize