Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
