Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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