You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
