She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
