OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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