hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
